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What a Wasted Holiday!
Published on July 5, 2010 By Phil Osborn In Movies & TV & Books

So, expecting to sleep in and be fully refreshed for the holiday, of course the neighboring plating company had decided to repave their parking/storage lot, and the day began with jackhammers about 8AM.

That was the start.  In a sleepless daze, I finally decided to see the new movie, "The Nature of Everything."  Then I discovered that the freeway entrance was closed, forcing a long detour and my getting to the movie five minutes into it, despite assurances from the Regal receptionist that it was still in previews.

Not a bad movie, all told, at least the hour of so it that I actually got to see.

It was, however, virtually pitch dark in the theater - the "University Regal" in Irvine, CA.  Also frigidly cold, due to air conditioning like you wouldn't believe.  For five minutes I stood and waited for my eyes to adjust, and finally found a seat behind a man and woman couple.  For some reason, the man immediately moved one seat to the left when I sat down, putting my motorcycle helmet and backpack on the empty seat to my left.  There was no one else on the row, as the attendance was fairily low.

As the movie progressed, the man kept leaning over or getting up and talking to his companion.  I could see that both of them were probably in their late 50's or 60's, perhaps '70's.  I resolved not to let his behavior destroy my movie, and studiously ignored him.  Finally, he made some kind of series of remarks out loud to the woman to the effect of "Why did you drag me to this crap?  I see better crap on TV."  And he got up while making the remarks and left the area. 

Meanwhile, I was getting chilled, with my chronic low-level allergy-triggered bronchitus already bothering me from having endured the same frigid conditions a couple days prior at the same Regal for a showing of the French comedy, "Mic Macs," which is reasonably worth seeing, but not all that ROFL.

So, I was clearing my throat every few minutes, trying to do it softly and using a paper towel to cover my mouth.  This was not sufficient.  The man returned and then started focusing on my cough, although it took me a while to realize it.  At one point, the man got out of his seat, rushed to the seat behind me and, leaning over my ear, made some angry remark, which I still couldn't understand.  However, enough was enough, and since he kept turning and staring at me with obvious rage, I assumed that whatever was his problem I wanted no part of it.

So, I got up and moved a row back, leaving my helmet and pack where they were.  He immediately picked up on my move and rushed out of his seat to confront me.  I told him to stay away from me. He offered to fight me, asking "You want to die right here and now?" and I told him that I was going to get the management and started to reach for my pack and helmet, at which point he lunged over to them, asking, "what's all this crap." He started to reach for my property, and I told him it was mine!  I left the theater.

In the lobby area, I told one of the attendants that a psycho had just threatened my life in the theater.  He got the manager, to whom I related briefly what had gone down.  I assumed that she would call the cops or at least ask if I wanted her to.  Her solution was to refund my money.  As I was filling out the paper for the refund, the psycho himself came striding out of the theater, and immediately started saying that I had swung at him.  He then informed the manager that it was obvious that I was homeless, since I was carrying a backpack.  Never mind explaining my motorcycle helmet...  I told him, "You're a psycho, I think," and left. 

After a moment of recovering from simply being stunned by the whole farce, I called the Irvine PD, who quickly dispatched two officers.  They took my story and then went into the theater looking for the man.  However, he had already left, according to the manager.

Any suggestions as to what I should have done? I mean, I might have been able to take the guy, in spite of the fact that, while probably late '50's, he was totally buff.  In fact, his face and body immediately made me think "retired Marine drill instructor."  I'm about the same age, but I work out and have taken megavitamins, etc., since the '60's, so I can pass for being in my late 40's, so long as you don't ask me to walk very far on my bone-on-bone knees. 

But why should I screw up my life on the basis of some chance encounter with a nut job?  Whether I "won" or he did, there would be plenty of pain to spread around and then I would likely be banned from Regal, regardless of who started it, and likely be arrested while the cops sorted things out.  Then, every time they ran my plates with their automated computer vision that most cop cars have now, they would get some notation about my having been arrested in an assault case, giving them the incentive if not the excuse to look for a reason to pull me over.

A possible wider issue is the number of similar cases we may have to expect in the future.  I had an uncle who had a near genius IQ.  Then he had a major stroke and his personality changed.  He always had a mean streak, and this became him, picking fights with everyone and ultimately giving away most of the family estate that he had been entrusted with to a couple of "buddies" in his will.  There will be millions additional such cases of people who are borderline, still physically strong, but with bad judgement or psycho personality changes as the Boomer generation ages.  I notice that my own "senior moments" are getting more frequent...


Comments
on Jul 10, 2010

You did fine. Take the refunded money and see another film at a warmer theater. Since no body was hurt, no use beating yourself up as to what you could or couldn't have done better.

The only thing I would recommend is keep your belongings with you (as in right next to) with easy access. That guy could have sucker punched you while you were reaching for it in the next row.

on Jul 11, 2010

Thanks, Nitro.  Good thoughts.  Unfortunately, experiments have shown that that kind of verbally threatening assault causes about the same level of stress - cortisol release, etc. - as an actual fight.  Cats subjected to a barking dog, for example, show elevated cortisol even 24 hours later.  My pulse rate is usually rock steady at 60bpm, with blood pressure typically 110/65.  A couple hours after I left the theater, I checked it and my blood pressure at CVS.  The pulse rate was still in the 80's and my blood pressure was up by about 20%. 

O'well.  It still beat the July 4th when I hit the repainted crosswalks with the layer of super slick glass beads.  I have scars to show on that one.